Worry, Fear, Exhaustion but Still Grateful

January is a tough month. I’m not one to dwell on what was and feel sorrow on specific anniversaries but for some reason this year was hard. I think I expected to be all better by now. January 25th marked 2 years that I have been fighting. I fight everyday. Maybe not to kill cancer with chemo but to get through my day. I spend many days in bed. I try to get going but my body doesn’t let me. I force myself out to do things I enjoy that don’t require a lot from me. That’s why you will often see me cheering on some sort of Credo sports team. I find a lot of joy in watching my kids .

There have been some new worries. Although my bloodwork looks fairly descent, there have been some physical ailments that have been on my mind. The pain in my wrists and fingers and hips can be rough at times. I saw a rheumatologist this week and she is suspecting tendinitis. I also saw a dentist at oral oncology yesterday. I have some white patches on the roof of my mouth and we aren’t sure what it is. It’s been there for a while. Yesterday a biopsy was taken and I should find out what it is in 2 weeks. It’s a pretty painful spot for a biopsy. Ouch! In the meantime I have a nasty cold bug. It seems to be in my bronchial tubes and makes it hard to breath at times. I am hoping my body can fight it in its own. I woke up this morning with swelling and pain under my left ear and jaw. Probably a lymph node from whatever virus I’m fighting. If it doesn’t go away tomorrow I will go visit my doctor. My BMT doctor has stopped IVIG treatments for now . It will be nice to have a break from this. It was decided that I will stay on a low dose of prednisone because it seems to give me what I need to handle food and gives me a small amount of relief from gvhd . I am starting a very slow taper of cyclosporine. This is my anti rejection medication. This is a big step! I tried to go off it before but developed gvhd in my stomach and was put back on it. So hopefully this time is a success.

In other news, I still have not booked a holiday for our family but I’m struggling to figure out where to go. I think maybe we will go away with the kids in BC somewhere and Aaron and I will go to Hawaii. Trying to get the whole family away is just not in our budget. Maybe I will take some snowboarding lessons and hit the hills with them . 😆 ( not likely)

I am loving having my puppy Molly around. She is great company for me and brings lots of fun to our home. The kids are busy with sports and school. Aaron is busy with work and being Mom and Dad most of the time. 😢 I had my mom and Grandma take about 15 loads of laundry to clean for me this past weekend. It was wonderful. Today Grandma made me my favourite homemade soup. Yummy!

In other news Relay for life is coming up. I’m excited to participate in it again. If you would like to join my team, I would absolutely love it. We have so much fun every year. I asked the team if we could change our name to Cancer Crushers this year. Tania’s Troopers is great but I know so many people who I have lost this past year, who are fighting still and I want us to be united in support of everyone who is or did go through cancer. Please consider joining. It is a great family event too. Credo kids I would love it if you joined us! You don’t even have to know me. I promise to welcome you with open arms. Here is the link …. you can join my team through here or if you are unable to make it , you can donate. Thanks so much.

http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_BC_even_?px=7262996&pg=personal&fr_id=24846


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